Rodney was pissed. She was more than pissed; she was infuriated. Carson had done something stupid on the level of magnitude Rodney had previously only thought John capable of.

After her attack and subsequent visit to the infirmary, the whole city knew that Rodney was now a girl so everyone moved out of the way of the furious familiar-looking blonde with sparking blue eyes as she stormed through the halls on her way home. She had been on her way to meet John for lunch, but no. She just heard over the grapevine--the grapevine--that Carson had self-tested some anti-Wraith serum he'd been working on.

Thankfully, Carson was alive and the Wraith--George, one of the Marilyn Manson Wraiths--wasn't, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Carson had done something unimaginably stupid. Hell, even Kavanagh wasn't this stupid!!

The doors to the suite opened while she was still half a hallway away so she just barrelled in. "Just what the hell did you think you were doing, Carson!?!"

As the doors closed behind her, Rodney had a moment to realize that Carson might not have been briefed on the fact that his husband was now his wife before pushing that thought aside. She had a stupid husband to berate. She could consider such things later.

Rodney hated to do it, but he asked for one of the marines inside the infirmary to escort him home. After Dr. Baker confirmed his identity, it was no problem. He waved the marine off then headed for the bathroom, shedding clothes as he went. He found himself suddenly wanting a nice, long soak in the tub. And who knows, maybe he'd do some exploring of his own. Maybe.

He was naked by the time he reached the bathroom and the tub filling with some jasmine bubblebath before going over to the floor length mirror. He hadn't really taken the time to study himself when he changed earlier so he took the time now. Rodney had to admit, he wasn't badly built. Wide hips, perfect for childbearing he'd once read--not that he'd ever do that, of course--and of course the large breasts that got him in trouble earlier.

He had shrunk a few inches, which explained the extra weight. Conversion if mass. His height changed to width. Again. Well, he wasn't ugly, exactly. He's what some would call 'classically beautiful', really. Figure-wise, anyway. He could pass as his sister around his face if you ignored a few differences around his jawline and his still slightly crooked mouth, from too many years of scowling at idiots.

Rodney had enough sense to turn the water off in the tub, but otherwise stayed in front of the mirror studying his new body. Turning this way and that, he cataloged each new--and old--feature. Scars had transfered over, of course, but he found that he had a completely different set of birthmark. Huh.

After running out of the toy room, Rodney wandered the halls. He really didn't pay attention to where he was going or care anymore if someone saw him. He got a few double looks from the scientists that saw him, probably because he looked familiar but they couldn't place him in his civvies. A few of the 'old timer' marines patrolling nodded to him, probably recognizing that he was a scientist, at the very least, and thus should be afforded respect.

He wasn't really aware that he was wandering into the lesser used sections of the city until he came upon a dead end. He stared at the wall in front of him for several seconds. He hadn't really thought Atlantis had dead ends. "Huh." Oh well, good a place as any to hide out and think. Rodney walked over to one of the corners, settled down, hugged his knees to his chest and proceeded to loose all track of time.

When Rodney heard that Carson had asked John to bring home a Wraith, he'd gone to the lab furthest from the infirmary to do his work. He still got jittery whenever he passed by the Iratus labs, whenever Carson came home from working with the damned bugs, or whenever John had been fighting the Wraith. Actually having one in the city? He really didn't want to test his resolve to stay away from the temptation.

The lab he'd chosen appeared to be a child's play room, from the assortment of devices in it. He was currently turning what appeared to be an action figure of some sort in his hands. It looked freakily like a Jedi with it's beige clothes and robes, except it had a LSD and an Ancient blaster instead of a lightsaber.

It had another small device with it that he didn't recognize and he frowned as he turned it over in his fingers. It almost looked like the activation crystal in a DHD, but he'd never seen one scaled to what this model would represent.

As he turned it, he accidently pressed it and the green jewel glowed. He had just enough time to hope that he didn't unleash something deadly before he blacked out.

---

( (An hour later...) )

Rodney locked the door to his personal quarters--which, no, he didn't need but kept anyway--and knelt in front of one of the two trunks at the bottom of his bed. After entering the alphanumeric codes for the blue one, he opened it and stared at the contents: his casual kilt and all it's trappings.

He'd promised Carson and Rae he'd wear the kilt and after thinking about it, Rodney kinda liked the idea of wearing the symbol of his family's heritage again. He hadn't worn it since the graduation ceremony for his third and final PhD. His Grams had asked him to wear it for the occassion and since he could never deny her anything, he'd worn it. It had surprised his classmates to learn he'd been of Scottish descent and he'd been teased a bit about wearing a 'skirt', but that was Americans for you. He just wished his Grams had been there to see it.

Tearing himself from the memories, Rodney unpacked the trunk and set out the kilt, a white shirt, belt, sporran, hose, ghillies, and garter flashers. After making certain everything was still in one piece, he stripped and took a quick shower. When he got out, he shaved real quick before going back into the bedroom and getting dressed.

Rodney took a deep breath before looking at himself in the mirror once he was dressed. With all the weight he'd lost recently, the kilt actually fit better than it had nearly twenty years ago. Huh. Pity about the hair, but nobody was perfect.

He put a small tube of lube and some thin leather straps in the sporran before picking up the LSD he'd brought with him. Making sure no one was around, Rodney carefully made his way back to the suite. He had such a surprise for Carson and Rae...

Tapping his comm on the way, he spoke to his spouses. "MacGregor, Beckett, this is McKay. If you two are done dallying for the day, I need your imput on a project we discussed a few months ago. Meet me in our suite to hammer out the details. McKay out."

Grinning, Rodney entered the suite and casually leaned against the wall beside the balcony doors, in direct line of sight of the main suite door, to wait for them. This was going to be good

Rodney scrubbed his face when the call came in that the Daedalus had docked on the east pier. With a final look at John, he stood and went to collect Carson so they could go greet their spouses.

He didn't know how Radek had survived last year when the three of them had been forced to go to Earth. Three weeks in debriefings and minion evaluations while the Daedalus made the return trip, a week for said ship to resupply and then three more weeks to travel back to Pegasus and home. Rachel and Radek've been gone for six weeks and Rodney is sorely missing them. He wasn't kidding when he told John that Radek was the other half of his brain--he did some of his best work when he could bounce ideas off his husband. As for Rachel, well...he missed her. And her cooking. But mostly her. Really.

They arrived to the usual organized chaos that followed the Daedalus' docking and disembarking. New personnel were herded by marines to the mess hall where they'd receive their orientations both together then segregated by divisions. Returning personnel were greeted by friends and eagerly led off to their rooms to share news from Earth--and any goodies they'd manage to sneak past the censors. Those from the latter group would greet both Carson and, to his surprise, himself as they passed them.

Keeping a hand on Carson's shoulder--partly to keep from getting seperately in the crowd and partly for comfort--Rodney kept an eye out for the familiar red hair and room saw it; and beside it was the equally familiar wild 'mad scientist' hair of his best friend and other half of his brain.

"There they are!" Rodney clapped Carson's shoulder then pushed his way through the crowd to where Rachel and Radek were. "Hey!" He grabbed them both, kissing each of them before turning them over to Carson for similar treatment, though he never quite let go of Rachel's arm. "How was Earth?"

Rodney smiled weakly at Ronon, who was guarding John's door, and quickly stepped inside. Against the white sheets, the red scrubs make John look more flush that Rodney knows he actually is. He's hooked up to several monitors, though he has one of those nose things instead of an tube now, so that's good. Maybe.

Nervously playing with his rings, Rodney shuffles up alongside the bed and carefully takes John's hand. "You know, as military commander, you don't have to go off-world. Think about it: no more getting shot, kidnapped, or married off to some chieftan's daughter."

After a moment Rodney sighed, looking down at John's hand. "And you'd be bored stiff within a day, just like I would be if I didn't have all the Ancient toys in the labs to play with. But couldn't you have gone at least this first mission without me without getting hurt? Just this first one? Let me know that you can stand on your own feet, just a little?"

Reaching out with his foot, Rodney snagged a chair and pulled it over. After moving from the bed to the chair, Rodney laid his head beside John's hand and closed his eyes. He never once let go of John's hand. "It's insane with all you put me through, but I love you, John Sheppard, and I'm glad you're still here. Now get better so I can kick your ass for being stupid enough not to dodge the damned things."

Rodney absently wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, not taking his eyes off of the tablet he held. Behind him, Kavanagh worked at the power station and John was in the chair. On his way to the chair room he'd stopped by the ZedPM nursery and taken the first of the new batch made. The chair could use it's own ZedPM besides the cities and having its own would help greatly.

He shared Carson's earlier comment; he was glad that Rachel was on Earth, too. Radek as well, of course, cause he was out of danger, but right now Rodney could have really used the other half of his brain.

Unlike Radek, Rodney retreated to his office by the labs to read his letter and watch his CD. He opened the letter first since this was Shenzi and he was very curious about what she'd have to say.

Rodney was nervous and for good reason. He was about to greet a dead man. Well, dead in this universe, anyway. He hadn't seen Peter for a year and the last time he saw his friend was in a doomed satelite facing off against three Wraith hive ships.

So, yeah, Rodney was nervous.

After wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his pants, Rodney picked up his tablet and went to the Mirror lab. He stepped into the room and stood stiffly, tablet held close to his chest, and waited.

Rodney sat in his office and stared at the blank screen. He was supposed to write a letter to Jeannie asking that she retrieve his kilt from storage so that Radek and Rae could pick it up while they were on Earth. He wasn't going this time around, mostly because he went last time, but also because Elizabeth was going again--at least he thought she was, he didn't know what she did anymore--and he was needed to run the city. Joy.

Rolling his neck, Rodney set to work.

---

To: Jean Miller
From: Dr. Rodney McKay, PhD
Re: I need a favor
Att: contactinfo.doc; storagecodes.doc; family.png; cats.png

Jeannie,

Hi. Um. I know I haven't written much--or at all, really--but there's a reason for that. Work, for one. As you know, I'm second in command of the base I'm at and that's a lot of paperwork. I also run the science department, which is another handful. And on top of all that, I have angsting spouses to take care of.

Oh yeah. I got married a couple months ago. Yes, to John, Carson and Radek. But also to another co-worker: Rachel MacGregor. She's a Newfie (please never tell her I said that) who's specialty is electrical engineering. She's amazing. Very smart and doesn't take shit from me. Antoher plus. And she's gorgeous.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Rodney, attracted to a woman! Let alone marrying her?!" But it's different with Rachel. She's different. Girls still don't do anything for me. But she does. Don't know why. I'm glad Radek brought her into the group, though. She's wonderful. She even doesn't mind Marge. Said Marge was beautiful. And gave me make-up tips that worked wonders for Marge's features.

Before you go condemning us, Jeannie, you need to know. They've helped me. With, you know, what happened while I was working towards my first PhD. I think I'm finally healing and it's because of them.

I love them, Jeannie.

Not much else has happened to me. Oh. Yeah. I had to quit coffee (Carson and Rachel's doing, mostly) because I had a stroke about a month ago. Spoke and understood only French for a few weeks. That was interesting, especially since John is the only one of us who doesn't speak French. I've also got a light workload, still. Carson won't let me work longer than 8PM now.

I'm afraid I won't be coming to visit any time soon. I'm needed here and there's no one who can replace me. At least, no one that I trust who is going to be here. Radek and Rachel are going to meet his family then they'll come see you. The reason for which is that I want you to go to storage locker C8 and get the Scottish dress kilt set and the casual kilt set. Also, could you get out the bagpipes? Carson and Rachel are of Scottish decent and recently asked to see my stuff when I told them about Grams.

Oh. That reminds me. Rachel...she's really wonderful, did I mention that? She found me a piano. A very unique piano made of crystal. It sounds more like an organ, but it's so beautiful. She found out that I used to play so she found the piano for me. I'm playing again, Jeannie, and I'm good. Mr. Nykl was wrong, Jeannie. What does a child know of emotions? Of art? Of soul? It's so beautiful, Jeannie, you'd hardly believe it. Maybe I'll send a recording with Rachel. She plays the fiddle and we plan on playing together sometime soon. With work being what it is, we've simply never gotten around to it.

Oh! And Rachel got me a couple of kittens as a late birthday present. She did some very clever talking to get the US Government to allow them on base, but they did. Dora and Andy. The cutest things ever! They're siblings. Dora is the eldest and she acts it. She's very snobbish when she wants to be. Andy's more laid back and, well, simple. He's smart, but he's more playful than Dora. Less serious.

I've attached a picture of the five of us together at our wedding, and another of the kittens. From left to right in the group picture: (back row) Carson, John, myself, (front row) Radek and Rachel. In the kitten picture, Andy's the gold tabby and Dora's the gray tabby. And, yes, Dora often smacks Andy's head. Probably the reason why he's a bit simple.

Well. That's it. Oh. How are you and the spore? I still can't believe I'm an uncle. I drop out of contact for five years and you get a kid. I know she's almost nine, but I could have sworn you didn't have a kid before I went to Siberia.

Anyway. Take care.

Your brother,
R. McKay Rodney

---

Rodney sent it before he could talk himself out of it. There. He'd told Jeannie about Rachel. About his life. Hopefully she'll still speak to him and do what he asks.

Rodney had several disks full of the data for the technologies they'd discovered since coming to the city, including instructions on how to send disks in return. He took those and immediately set them against the Mirror--which was about halfway complete--as soon as he arrived and watched as they appeared on the other side with no apparent problems. We'll see...

He sat with his tablet and waited for his counterpart to show up. As he waited, he jotted down some questions he had. Such as 'When did you get together with the others?', 'In what order?', 'Are you gay or bi?', 'Is Sam with O'Neill?' and 'Did you ever do that thing with the you-know-what in the you-know-where that one time?'

Rodney was minding his business. Really, he was. He was walking down to the concert hall to work some on the piano there. He'd been neglecting it lately, what with the goa'uld and the wraith and all. He was also taking the time to eat a mocha flavored chocolate bar while he was away from his spouses. He loved them dearly, but they just didn't understand that by now the caffeine was a necessity of life for him.

He's just passing the lab where they'd found a quantum mirror a few days ago when he hears a small bang then the sound of shattered glass. "Oh no..." Stashing the chocolate bar in his pocket, Rodney runs into the room. What he finds shocks him.

A little girl, no more than 10 or 11 if he had to guess, lay on the floor among the broken shards of the quantum mirror. She had long wavy reddish hair in a ponytail and wore jeans, a green t-shirt, sneakers and a blue backpack.

He jogged over and knelt down beside her, tapping his comm as he checked her pulse. "McKay to the Infirmary. Carson, I need a med team down in Lab 236 stat."

She had a pulse, thank god. Looked like she was just unconscious so he tried to wake her. "Hey. Hey, kid. Little girl, wake up." He very gently shook her shoulder, careful not to jostle her too much. "Come, wake up."

Rodney leaned against the living room wall nearest the front door, arms crossed and looking decidedly Not Happy. When everyone--even the cats, to his private amusement--had settled, he studied them intently; meeting each spouse in the eye before moving on.

When he finished, he tapped his fingers along his arm and sighed. "We are here having another meeting because we evidently have communication problems. And coming from me, that's saying a lot. So we are doing this: we will each tell one truth that no one else in the group knows about. When everyone has told one truth, then we start again. This time asking one question of each spouse. Something you don't know and are curious about, or whatever. We'll see what happens after that."

Scowling at the people he loved most, Rodney decided to start. "One truth you didn't know about me. I told you in one of those cute memes a while ago that I did great in theater. I didn't tell you how good, though. Shenzi figured it out on her own due to a slip I made but..." He took a deep breath then licked his lips. "I'm David Hewlett."

He very carefully didn't look up from the floor as he spoke. "Next."

Rodney pulled his trunk out and dragged it into the spare room. Katie had announced another poker night and he wanted to attend. He so very rarely got to be Marge now days. Before he could close the door, Dora darted in and sat on the bed to watch him. Sometimes it really weirded him out how intelligent she was.

{Hey, Dora. Come to watch Daddy turn into a mommy?} He walked over and scritched behind her ears.

Dora just tilted her head to give him better access and gave him a look like she thought he was crazy.

He'd already showered so all he had to do was put on his make-up, wig and dress. He knew Rae had been wanting to see him dress up, but she wasn't home as far as he could tell. Rodney considered it for a moment then tapped his comm.

{McKay to MacGregor. Shenzi, you doing anything life-saving? If not, Marge is getting dressed if you want to come help pick out something to wear.}

Rodney giggled as he bent to pull out his outfits. Oh, tonight was going to be fun...

I still can't believe that Shenzi got the SGC to allow me to have cats here. They're absolutely adorable and I can already tell Dora is the queen. She bullies Andy until he does what she wants. Kinda like Shenzi with me and the others. We'd bend over backwards and move heaven and earth for her, if she asked.

Well, me and Radek and John would. Not so sure about Carson.

I've noticed lately that he's just a little bit distant towards her. Nothing really noticable, per se, but it's just something... He's acting like a best friend and big brother than a husband or even a shy boyfriend. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that what little gay-ness I lost to Rachel went to Carson. But that's silly.

Oh look. Dora has some how managed to get into one of my socks and is making Andy drag her around. She keeps batting at his tail whenever he stops. She's so adorable. And smart. Don't think I've ever had a cat as smart as her before, and I've had many cats in my life.

She knows me not only by scent, but by name. If one of the others randomly ask where I am (usually I'm in the office), Dora will lead them to me. Or she'll come get me and pester me until I follow her to wherever the random spouse wanting me. I don't know if it's my scent or if she's just that smart, but she's already learned which desk is mine and will occasionally leave little presents for me. String, socks, my watch when I lost it, and one time even a LSD that was malfunctioning. Don't ask me how she got it on my desk, but no one else was in the suite and she was laying next to it when I finally made it to my desk that morning.

It's a little freaky, to tell the truth.

And Atlantis isn't helping. She opens the doors for Dora whenever she sits in front of it and waves her paw. The doors won't open for Andy, thank god, but they'll open for Dora every time. I didn't even know until she started visiting the others at work. They'd either come home carrying Dora or would call me to come get her. No matter how many times I program the door or John sweet talks her, Atlantis continues to open the door for Dora. It's getting to the point where I'm tempted to have Carson screen her for the ATA gene, as insane as it sounds.

She hates Opticon. On one of her trips to visit Radek, she saw Opticon in the hall repairing a burnt crystal and attacked him. He had bite marks on his ankles and scratches on his arms. I made sure she had fresh fish from the mainland for that.

Of course several personnel have complained about Dora wandering the halls, but any time someone gets close to her in an attempt to bring her home, Dora hisses and scratches them. It's amusing watching trained marines cower from a four month old kitten.

Occasionally she'll bring Andy with her, but she does a good job of keeping him out of trouble. One time, so the techs say, they managed to make it to the gate room floor as it was dialling. He started to walk up to the stargate to investigate and she stopped him just before it kawooshed out and killed him. He's had a healthy respect (or fear) of the stargate ever since.

Oops. Looks like it's time for lunch. Dora's sitting at my feet and giving me her 'feed me now, slave' look. I've always had a weak spot for strong women--in that I am very scared of them and will do whatever they say to avoid their wrath--so I'm going to go feed them.

---

Rodney set his laptop on the coffee table and picked Andy up before following Dora into the kitchen to prepare lunch for his babies.

Since Elizabeth had taken some time off to 'recover' from her possession, that meant Rodney was in charge of Atlantis. For the last few weeks he's been putting it off, mostly. Really, Atlantis ran itself. As much as it hurt to admit, the personnel were competant enough not to need much guidance.

But this was something he had to do as acting leader of Atlantis so...

{General Landry, this is Atlantis. We have some news, but since this isn't my project for once I'll hand it over to the ones responsible for it. Drs. Rachel MacGregor of City Systems and Resources and David Parrish of Botany.}

Rodney nodded to Rae and smiled encouragingly; proudly. His wife had done this. Okay, yes, with the help of soft science Parrish but still. His wife had grown a ZedPM. And was about to make 'requests' to Earth in exchange for an unlimited supply of them. He smirked.

Of course there was a pause as Radek, standing next to Rodney, translated it for the General.

"General Landry, this is Dr. Radek Zelenka. Forgive Dr. McKay, General. A recent...situation on Atlantis has left him with the inability to speak or understand English. I will translate." Then he translated what Rodney said and nodded to Rae when he was done.

Rodney and Radek are in their lab when the explosion hits. Even from the next pier over they could feel the vibrations of the blast. Knowing what was going on in the botany labs, Rodney's eyes widen in horror. {Oh no.}

Radek is about to ask Rodney what is going on since it's obvious that he knows when first Chuck's voice warning of Wraith darts then their wife's voice comes over the comms.

{Rodney! Radek! I'm headed to the power room to install the second working module! Tell me what to do with it!}

Rodney and Radek are already disconnecting their laptops and grabbing their tools before Rae's even finished. Rodney taps his comm and both he and Radek run for the chair room. {There are two empty slots left, Shenzi. Set the ZedPM in one of them then gently push down until it lowers. Go over to the control panel and type in the following commands.} He rattles off a series of commands as they make it to the chair room.

As soon as they arrive Rodney heads for the Mark II generator beside the chair to connect it while Radek heads for the control panel. {Radek, call John. We need him here.} He doesn't listen for Radek's affirmative, already working on hooking the Mark II up to the chair and getting it up and running.

Rodney was torn from his thoughts when they arrived home. Even from here he could smell lunch and was grateful that Radek had brought Rachel into the group. Not only was she a wonderful woman and fantastic in bed, she could cook.

As soon as the doors opened he followed his nose to the kitchen. {Shenzi, I smell food.}

"NONONONONONO!!!!! This goes here, that goes there! God, how the hell did you people even learn to speak, let alone graduate school, get your PhD's--you mail ordered them, didn't you?--and get selected to this expedition? A brick is smarter than you! My cat is smarter than you! At least she could program a VCR. In French!"

Rodney was pacing in front of Opticon, Morris, Shelley and Rosenberg--the idiots Elizabeth had forced upon him in hopes of beating some brains into them. Rodney had told her it was hopeless and that they were better just shipping them home but she wouldn't hear it.

"You people are hopeless!!" Rodney opened his mouth to yell some more but he stumbled, suddenly dizzy. A sharp pain pounded his head and he raised a hand to hold his head. His heart was pounding and he was panting like he'd run a marathon, yet all he'd done was pace.

He thought he heard someone ask if he was okay, but with his blood pounding in his ears it was hard to tell. The last thing he heard was Carson's name interspersed with what he knew was English, but he couldn't make out the words.

Rodney fell to the floor unconscious.

To: Rachel (rotate last name)
From: Rodney McKay
Re: Session

Shenzi,

If you're really serious about this, meet me in my private quarters at 1900, after dinner. Bring a change of clothes and wear something you don't mind getting trashed.

--Banzai

~~locked family post~~
( This was highly invasive. I'm just saying... )

Rodney left in search of an empty room, hair still damp from his shower. He hated to leave Rae alone, but this needed to get done and resolved. He was getting second looks from everyone he passed because for once he wasn't in his uniform. Instead, he'd opted to go civvie--a blue shirt with the pi sign on it. If one were to look closely, they could see the sign itself was made of the actual numbers of pi. Blue jeans and battered sneakers completed the look.

Half an hour later, he finally found a suitable room. It had a decent sized living room/kitchenette and two doors--one leading to the bathroom and the other leading to a bedroom with a fairly good sized bed. Rodney eyed it thoughtfully then sighed and went back to the living room. This would do. He moved the chairs and couch to form a circle and decided right then and there that he and John were taking the couch. Radek, Carson and Rae could take the chairs. That way it didn't seem like there were 'sides'. He and John seemed to be the only neutral members of the group at the moment.

After making sure the room was set just right, he tapped his comm. "McKay to Sheppard. I've got the room ready." He gave directions to the room then commed Rachel and Carson to tell them the same thing.

That done, Rodney went to the control crystals for the door and set it to open only for the five of them. He also warned control not to bother then unless the Wraith were coming, the city was sinking or both. Fearing a lifetime of cold showers and Britney Spears piped through their room, control agreed.

Everything set, Rodney sat on the couch and waited.

Rodney woke up with a mouth full of hair. Used to this with Radek, he didn't think much off it, except to note there seemed to be more of it than usual. He pulled the body in his arms tighter against him, his morning erection slipping between his bedmate's legs and inside of them as one of his hands moved up enough to cup their breast.

Now Rodney isn't the most alert person before at least his third cup of coffee, and not socialable before his fifth. So it is understandable that froze when it finally reached his brain that he was holding a breast and he'd slipped inside his lover a bit too easily for them to be male. Brain moving at only normal human speeds, it took him a few more seconds to connect the dots and come up with 'female'.

He cracked his eye open and saw red. Literally. There was a mass of red curls right in his face. Well. That explained the mouthful he'd gotten. Body finally getting with the program, Rodney propped himself up on an elbow and peered over his bedmate's shoulder.

Rachel.

Oh. Right.

Disaster of a meeting between Carson, Rachel and Radek. Carson yelling at Rachel and Radek running off. Him coming to comfort Rachel. Climbing into bed with her to sleep after telling Carson off.

Rodney watched her sleep for a few minutes then leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Rachel. Rachel, wake up."

Rodney was halfway to the group room when he realized it was late morning and she wasn't likely to be there. Easily solved. He tapped his comm.

"MacGregor, this is McKay. Where are you?"

Everything is ruined.

Rodney's double-timing it, as John would say, to Radek and Rachel's room for some spare clothes for Radek. No undershirt, he'd said. Rodney almost hated to think why that was.

He steps into the suite expecting it to be different but it isn't. He quickly makes his way to the bedroom then to the set of drawers he knows from his previous visit to be John's. He grabs several pairs of boxers then moves on to Radek's side of the closet for a couple pairs of pants. He hesitates over the shirts, though, since he'd caught the beginnings of Radek's freak out over the clothes. Well...

Rodney drops the pants and just leaves with the boxers. He can always where John's pants--or the set of clothes he has in the group suite--and one of his own shirts. They'd be big, of course--Radek's the smallest of the group, despite being almost the same size as John--but they'd do. Everyone in the city probably knows what happened by now so they wouldn't say anything. He hoped.

He really hoped no one stopped him to ask why he was carrying several pairs of boxers. Rodney doesn't want to waste the time yelling at them, when he could be that much closer to Radek and Carson.

Finally, however, he reaches his private rooms and enters. "Hey."

What was the SGC thinking when they decided to take these morons straight out of university!? They had no actual lab experience and thought that because they were straight from university and hand-picked by the SGC that they were better than he was and gods on top of it!

Fuck. It would serve this imbecile right if he were eaten by the Wraith! Get him out of Rodney's hair. He wasn't even sure what he was saying to the kid anymore; just that it was cutting enough to make the kid cry and cower, and that made him even more angry. If the kid couldn't take criticism meant to save his live then he shouldn't be here. Yet another reject going home on the Daedalus.

Rodney was grateful to finally break free of Opticon's idiocy. The man insisted on wasting Rodney's valuable time by showing him some spare crystals they'd found. Except that Rodney's people had found them over a year ago shortly after the storm.

He got his tray and searched the room for one of his lovers. He didn't find any of them, but he did find a familiar head of curly hair. Looked like she cut it, though. Huh.

Shrugging to himself, Rodney headed over and began speaking before he'd even rounded the table and sat down across from Rachel. Only it wasn't Rachel. "Rachel. You would not believe the new levels of stupidity the Neanderthals calling themselves scientists have reached today." He was about to start shoveling food in his mouth when he finally noticed that Rachel was decidedly male. "Hey. You aren't Rachel."

He squinted then sat back, looking stunned. "You're Rachel's--what was it? Cousin?--aren't you? How the hell did you get here?"

Rodney sighed and pushed away from his desk. This was insane. One day. One day. and his labs were in chaos. How could Elisabeth's temporary fit of insanity cause so much trouble?

He was considering stopping for the night because it was simply too much for one night's work. Even for him. He saved and closed everything then stood, stretching out the kinks that had developed from sitting for so long.

Rodney walked into his lab, Elisabeth's new trinket wrapped and carefully boxed in a Level two quarentine container. He'd get White to work on it. She didn't have the gene and was trustworthy enough.

Rodney was working on the relationship chart to pass the time. He knew chuck would be by soon and Radek was supposed to come around lunch time so it was no use getting into something.

The chart, which had started out so simply, was now a mess. He'd have to completely redo it soon if things kept going like they were. Why couldn't human relations be more like computers? Computers were so easy...

Lost in thought, Rodney didn't hear the footsteps in the doorway--which he always kept open unless he was really busy--until the voice spoke up.

Rodney took his tray to a quiet corner to eat while working on his PC tablet. He'd only just woken up about half an hour ago. Just enough time to go to his private room, shower, change into some civvies (one of his favorites--long sleeved grey shirt, a short sleeved green t-shirt and well-worn jeans) and head to the mess hall for dinner.

Johari thing that Heightmeyer is making me do. She says I have 'issues'. *rolls eyes*

In the control room, when I handed over my handkerchief to Chuck, I remembered an old custom some of the upper classmen mentioned. In the 70s men would carry handkerchiefs, color coded to what their preferences were and depending on which pocket they pulled it from, was whether you were a top or a bottom for that particular act. I found a site with a list of all the colors and thought it would be amusing to go through it and list my colors. Here they are.

The Gay Man's Hanky Code

My list.

Color===Pocket

Grey===Left
Blue, light===Left
Blue, navy===Left
Blue, air force===Right
Lavender===Right
Fuscia===Left
Beige===Left
Brown lace===Left
Red w/black stripe===Right
Paisley===Left
White velvet===Left
Leopard===Right
Teddy bear===Left & Right
Mosquito netting===Left
Keys in back===Left
Houndstooth===Left
Terrycloth===Left
White w/multicolored dots===Left

Just go down the color list and pick out mine. Not that hard.

Rodney eyed his office critically. He actually HAD set up his laptop to play various selections of Bach, Mozart and Rachmaninoff as well as some choice rock and techno groups from the 80s.

He'd cleared off the couch he kept in his office for the days he worked through the night and had laid out some snacks and drinks on the small coffee table in front of it. Judging from earlier today, this 'date' might not be entirely chaste, so he'd also stored some lube in a few easy-to-reach places. Everyone in Atlantis was clean and there was absolutely no chance of either of them getting pregnant so condoms weren't needed.

Now all he had to do was wait for Chuck to arrive. He sat behind his desk and watched the security footage the camera in the alcove captured. He'd deleted and replaced the file, of course, but not before he'd copied this. God, it was hot. Why did he wait so long in approaching the kid again?

Oh yeah, the age thing.

It took him a while to get over that. John, Carson and Radek were all a few years from his own age. Chuck was almost a decade younger. Seven years is a long time. Chuck seemed to genuinely like him, though, and he certainly liked Chuck so...

Besides, Radek and Carson were getting new lovers. Even John had--sort of--shared Rachel with Radek. About time he got someone, too.

And GOD did he have a mouth...

After leaving Rachel arguing with the head cook, Rodney decided to head up to the control room. It'd been a few days since he'd terrorized anyone up there and they might start getting cocky if he isn't there to put them in line.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he hops up onto the upper level. Seeing that young fellow Canadian at the controls, he walks over. "So. Things running okay?"

The Question Meme
(I've cut out the questions that seem to have been formulated by giggly 12-year-old girls)
( If you really want to read about me, hack my file. If you can. )

Rodney watched Radek leave then shook his head and took the trays to the counter to be cleaned before leaving. He would check on MacGregor, of course. She was one of them now and they took care of their own.

He wasn't really paying all that much attention to what was going on around him, not more than it took to avoid walking into people, that is. He was going over all that he'd missed in the last few weeks in his head. He knew he got caught up in his work, but really. This was ridiculous.

*Rodney sighs heavily as he enters the suite. He tosses his jacket over a chair and heads immediately for the vodka. It's only after several fingers-worth that he notices Carson* Oh, he told you too, huh? *knocks back another glass then refills it. This one he sips at as he moves to sit on the couch beside Carson* So...

*Rodney's bent over his laptop, going over the power readings for the ZPM. There's been a significant increase in output lately, but to none of the known systems. Annoying and possibly dangerous to the ZPM power supply if it wasn't stopped soon*

Well. Dr. MacGregor did as she said and found me a piano. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, MacGregor had a point. A child doesn't have the life experience to play with emotion. On the other hand, while logically I know it doesn't matter, Mr. Nykl's words have stuck.

I ran diagnostics on the...Ancient piano and it only needed a minor tuning, which Atlantis helped me with. Despite what I told MacGregor, I know about Atlantis. Hard not with with John and Radek.

When it was tuned I tried it out. It sounds like chimes, almost. Crystaline. But it's obviously a piano, if that makes sense. Very beautiful and it even had the same key placements as a piano so it didn't take long before I was accustumed to it.

I ran through the scales then did some Mozart for practice. I hate to admit it, but Radek's girlfriend was right. I never sounded as good then as I did last night. The accustics in the room--a concert hall?--are perfect.

Radek said that MacGregor plays a fiddle, and John has that guitar of his...*snorts* If we can get Teyla to sing--Carson mentioned it--and Cadman to tap dance...

...I was being sarcastic.

Anyway, I'm going to practice a few more times before I tell the others. Just spend some 'me' time with it, you know? I don't know if MacGregor fully realizes what she's done for me. Guess I'll have to be nice to her. Well, less snarky anyway.

~~Public~~
MacGregor, thanks for showing me that device yesterday. I'll get back to you on my progress with it.

Ah, good day my fellow Atlanteans! Isn't it a lovely day at that? Yes, it truly is wonderful.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? I can do cheerful!

Okay, fine. I try to be nice and you all treat me like I've got some sort of disease. *pauses, looking worried* I don't, do I? CARSON!!! *runs off to get a complete physical*